Years ago, when my mother was still alive, I was walking out the door after a visit when she called me back into the house. She had opened the dining room cupboard and was pointing to the good china. “Take it,” she said.
Mom hadn’t been feeling well, but her mind was sharp. I still saw her as the strongest person I’d ever known—both mentally and physically. I told her absolutely not. Thanksgiving was only three months away. If she followed the doctor’s advice, she’d be fine, and we’d use the china together.
Looking back, I realize I was willfully oblivious. I couldn’t face the pain of her disassembling her home, nor could I imagine the strongest woman I knew succumbing to diabetes. I didn’t recognize what she was trying to tell me. She had different plans.
It’s only recently that I’ve come to understand: in her own gentle way, my mother was preparing me for her exit. And I missed the message entirely.
I’ve been thinking about that moment a lot lately—especially in the context of conversations I’ve had with clients about long-term care planning. Once we reach a certain stage in life, money conversations naturally begin to shift toward the costs of aging. And with that shift come the questions—sometimes quiet, sometimes urgent:
- What if I develop dementia?
- What if I can’t walk and need daily help?
- What if I need assistance getting to appointments?
- What if I get cancer and need round-the-clock care?
These are heavy “what ifs.” But rather than dwell in fear or uncertainty, I believe we can begin to reframe the conversation. Instead of What if? let’s ask:
- How would I want to live if…?
- What support would I want around me?
- How can I structure my resources to reflect my wishes?
The first step in long-term care planning is thinking through how you’d like to live in the face of life’s uncertainties—and learning about the options available to you before a crisis hits.
The second step is just as critical: having a conversation with the people you trust most—those who can help ensure your values and choices are honored.
That’s why I’m hosting a Long-Term Care Planning Workshop on:
Wednesday, June 18th
5:30 PM
Envision Offices, 314 Park Row, Unit 2, Chestertown, MD
We’ll explore the kinds of questions that help you begin the planning process and discuss key documents to have in place. This is not a sales event—it's a chance to begin thinking, talking, and preparing with intention.
If you’d like to attend, please RSVP to me at
sarah.schut@ceterafs.com
I hope you’ll join us for this important conversation—one that, if started early, can make all the difference.